Welcome to the wild and whimsical world of Salt Lake City gardening! In this edition of “Hump Day Home Hacks,” we’ll explore everything from sassy native plants to rock gardens that double as meditation retreats. Buckle up, plant enthusiasts—our green journey is about to get hilariously root-tastic!
1. No-Sweat Natives
Forget exotic plants that demand royal treatment. We’re talking about Utah’s own divas—the native plants. These bad boys thrive in the local climate, like they’ve been sipping on cactus juice and doing sun salutations. Great Basin sagebrush, Utah mountain lilac, and silvery lupine are the headliners. They’re tougher than a cowboy’s boot and sassier than a tumbleweed in a dust storm.
2. Rainless is Painless with Xeriscaping
Picture this: a landscape that laughs at droughts. Enter xeriscaping, the Chuck Norris of landscaping techniques. It’s like saying, “Hey, water shortages, hold my beer!” These water-wise landscapes feature drought-tolerant plants and hardscapes. Agave, yucca, and spurge are the rockstars here. They’re so low-maintenance, they make a sloth look like an Olympic sprinter.
3. Creative Container Gardens
Who needs boring flower beds when you can have a container garden extravaganza? Grab those old barrels, wheelbarrows, and abandoned boots (yes, boots!)—they’re your new plant homes. Container gardens are like the Cirque du Soleil of landscaping. Plus, they’re perfect for lazy gardeners. No more kneeling in the dirt; just plop your plants in and call it a day. 🌸
4. Singin’ in the Rain (Garden)
Salt Lake City’s weather is like a hormonal teenager—unpredictable and moody. So, build a rain garden! It’s like a waterlogged karaoke party for plants. When it rains, they belt out their favorite tunes (mostly Adele). Bonus: rain gardens prevent floods and make your yard the envy of the neighborhood. 🎤
5. Install an Irrigation System
Imagine a sprinkler system that waters your plants while whispering sweet nothings to them. That’s an irrigation system. It’s like having a personal butler for your petunias. Just set it, forget it, and watch your garden flourish. And if it ever malfunctions, it’ll apologize in Shakespearean English. “Alas, poor Yorick, I sprayed too much.”
6. Artfully Artificial
Who needs real grass when you can have synthetic turf? It’s like having a permanent green carpet that never complains about being mowed. Plus, it’s pet-friendly—your dog won’t judge you for choosing fake grass. Just imagine the conversations at the dog park: “My owner’s grass is sooo last season. Yours?”
7. Gorgeous Ground Covers
Ground covers are like the Kardashians of landscaping—they cover everything and look fabulous doing it. Creeping thyme, woolly thyme, and elfin thyme (yes, thyme has a whole family) are the divas. They’ll hug your soil tighter than a clingy ex. And when guests visit, you can say, “Welcome to my thyme-share resort.”
8. Have a Hardscape
Why stop at plants? Let’s throw in some rocks, pavers, and statues. Create a hardscape that screams, “I’m fancy, but also practical.” Stone pathways, fire pits, and a gnome named Sir Reginald—because every yard needs a gnome. Just don’t let him boss around the succulents.
9. Raise a Rock Garden
Rock gardens are like Zen masters—they teach patience and serenity. Collect rocks, arrange them like a minimalist Picasso, and voilà! You’ve got a rock garden. Bonus points if you meditate next to it. Remember, rocks have seen it all—they’re the original therapists.
10. Mulch is a Must
Mulch is like a cozy blanket for your soil. It keeps it warm, prevents weeds, and whispers sweet encouragement to your plants. Plus, it’s the gossip queen of the garden. “Did you hear about the hydrangeas? They’re dating the azaleas. Scandalous!”
11. Plant Plenty of Perennials
Perennials are the vampires of the plant world—they keep coming back. Plant them once, and they’ll haunt your yard forever. Daylilies, coneflowers, and hostas are the eternal party guests. They’ll outlast your lawn chairs and probably your marriage.
12. Get Excited About Evergreens
Evergreens are like the loyal friends who stick around during winter. They’re the Gandalfs of the plant kingdom—wise, unchanging, and occasionally magical.
And there you have it! May your soil be as rich as your laughter, and your blooms as vibrant as your spirit. Until next time, keep those thumbs green and those weeds guessing. Happy gardening, Salt Lake City!